Once you’ve decided to get a divorce and begin legal proceedings there are emotional and financial pitfalls that you will want to avoid.  If you’re aware of these danger zones before you begin the process, the more likely you are to avoid them during the divorce process.  While there are many pitfalls I could mention here are a few of the mistakes that are the most costly.

1)Need to Know Basis-apart from your attorney, most people don’t need to know every detail of your divorce.  This is most especially true if there are children involved.  While they need to know that you are getting a divorce and that the divorce is not their fault, they don’t need to know about your finances, the reasons for the split, or your feelings for your soon-to-be ex spouse.

2)Keep Your Emotions in Check-divorce can be an emotionally exhausting process.  However, that doesn’t mean you have to verbalize your every thought and emotion.  If you need to express yourself, seek a counselor or a friend who can be trusted to keep your disclosures confidential.  Your communications with your spouse should be thoughtful and free of rancor or emotion.  While you’re not expected to be a robot, it’s important to avoid saying or doing anything that will harm you or any member of your family, including your spouse.

3)Tell Your Lawyer-don’t withhold information from your attorney.  This seems obvious but your attorney needs to know everything.  Let the lawyer decide what is relevant and consequential to your case.  Your lawyer can only help you if he has all the information.

4)Don’t Use Social Media-don’t use Facebook, Twitter or other social media outlets to air your grievances.  Keep your private life private.  Remember, anything you say or do can and will be held against you.

5)Stay Still-try to avoid making any major life altering changes at this point in your life.  That doesn’t mean be passive in your divorce proceedings but it may mean not switching careers or re-locating.  Wait until the storm has passed to make major decisions.  You’ll most likely have a clearer head after the divorce has been finalized and you can make better decisions.

Divorce means change and that can be daunting.  Hire a good divorce attorney who can guide you through the process.  Maintain your emotional support systems and look forward to getting on with your life.